First Grade and Baptism

 Abby started 1st grade two weeks ago! She was excited and ready to see all her friends and explore her new classroom the first morning. 

Two weeks in and we are still mostly excited! Some days she really wants to stay home and play with her toys or the dog. Some days, she is up early and ready to go! We are discovering that first grade is a lot more work than Kindergarten! The teacher reviews her work and gives a smiley face, she will have spelling tests starting soon, she is already doing a lot more math each day, and she is learning cool facts. When at the high school football game on Friday, the national anthem started playing and Abby immediately whispered to me it was written by Francis Scott Key. I love when school facts collide with real world stuff!

We have three kinder friends in our classroom and that has proven to be good. Abby loves that she knows someone and luckily, she sits in a pod of desks with two sweet girls from her Kindergarten class. I love that both of these girls are quiet which is a good influence on my chatterbox!

I did not request a teacher for Abby through the school. I really prayed about it and left it up to God and He answered in a couple of cool ways. First of all, Abby's teacher has a peanut allergy! How cool is that- she is new to our school and a first year teacher and the decision makers didn't even know that! I love that God matched them up! In my mind, I had hoped for Abby to get a certain teacher and now that we are two weeks in, I am already seeing why she would not have been a good match for my child. Nice reassurance to not try and plan everything for Abby, but trust God!

Speaking of trusting God, after Abby accepted Christ as her Lord and Savior on July 31st, we scheduled her baptism and it happened on August 30th. She was baptized by her Daddy with our children's pastor, Mrs. Patty, sharing a little about Abby and her walk to Christ.

We are so proud of her and her decision to want to grow in her relationship with Christ. She is deep in her questions, big in her worship, and she is sensitive. We've taught her the phrase "break my heart for what breaks yours" and she is already trying to see the world differently. I have no doubt this will make parenting her my biggest challenge and my greatest reward. 

We gave her a little angel necklace to remind her little people can be big messengers for God. I hope she never forgets that. Her best little buddy Michael and his Mom Natalie came for the service. Natalie has been a wonderful example to Abby of the kind of love Christ has for us!

I so glad my Mom and Chuck were also able to drive over for the morning.

Our family on her big day! Congratulations Abby for making such a big decision and trusting God with your life. We are so proud of you and look forward to helping guide you toward Him.

Special Prayer

Abby is a deep thinker and I have had more religious conversations with her than anyone else in my life, maybe combined. I remember clearly while she was in preschool she asked me, "are people born good or with sin?" Excuse me, what? I'm not qualified to answer this! She came home one day from Kindergarten and told me she asked all the kids on the playground if they knew Jesus. Humbled because that terrifies me, I asked her what she said if they said no.... she told them He loves them and died on the cross for them. Wow.

Most of our conversations happen in the car. We listen to Christian music and she would ask what different phrases mean and it would spark conversation. Throw in 2 years of really catchy VBS tunes and we had lots of questions! Abby had asked enough questions by the Spring that in talking to our children's director, we sent her to Kids Praise (1st-3rd grade) on Easter Sunday to hear an official gospel presentation explaining how Jesus, sin and the cross all work together. At the end of that, she said in her response card that she wasn't ready to make a decision. In talking about that with her, we learned two things. One, she didn't understand the breadth of sin. It was just major sins in her mind- lying, killing, stealing. Two, the thought of being baptized was closely tied to accepting Christ and that thought TERRIFIED her.

We would talk about accepting Jesus casually and she would immediately talk about being scared and asking a million questions about being Baptized- how long am I under water? how deep is the water? will they hold me under? can I hold my nose? We fully understand she can accept Christ and not be baptized for a long time- years even- but I wanted her to know the decision was bigger than a fear of water and to want it all in her heart. So we continued talking about Jesus and focused on discussing sin, but also went full force into giving her confidence in the water.

She took swim lessons in May and then we've been at the pool 3-5x/week since then. We worked on swimming, but then focused on going under water. We'd look for toys and then started jumping in the 3 foot, then 4 foot and eventually 6 foot. Then we took off her life vest and did it all over again until now, she swims above and under water all over and can jump into the 6 foot without a vest. During this time, I bribed her with a lego set if she'd let me stand in the 3 foot and holding her body do a back flip underwater. She agreed. Just a few days later, I asked her if she wanted me to pretend to baptize her. She agreed. I did it in the pool and when she came back up, she had a big grin and said, "that's it?". Ha! It really wasn't all that hard after all she had done in the water!

In early July, Abby attended a camp at church that was outdoor fun, but also taught her a Bible verse, gave her a daily Bible story, and taught her more worship music.

Two weeks later, she attended VBS and spent all morning learning more about the Bible, Jesus, and worshipping. She has always loved music and since I really only listen to worship music, it is her favorite. She has combined her love of Jesus with Marcus' ability to learn song lyrics and she is a quote machine! 

Fast forward to July 31st, Abby in the car tells me she has made a decision. I think she is talking about her 1st grade haircut which is a popular topic this week, and she tells me "no, about Jesus. I want to say the special prayer tonight". Gulp. Okay, Let's do this! So, on the way to drop her off at the YMCA so that we could celebrate our 16th wedding anniversary, Marcus asks Abby lots of questions. We both want to make sure she knows the commitment she is making and it isn't due to peer pressure or to please us. He had spent Wednesday during VBS answering kids questions and counseling them so he was trained and ready. She understands Jesus died on the cross so that sinners like her could get into heaven and there isn't another way. Sin isn't allowed in heaven and she will sin. She loosely understands the holy spirit will be with her and help guide her along with the Bible so that she can learn to live her life for Jesus and be a worker on his team, as she likes to call it.

I'm proud of her- accepting Jesus is the first step in living for Him and one Marcus and I really didn't make until adults. I love that she has Him for as long as she can remember and will grow in Him from such a young age. I love that she is a deep thinker as I know understanding God's word requires deep study. I love that she sings to worship Him without abandon. I love that she wants to share Him with her playground friends. I love that I get a front row seat to see what He has planned for her precious life. God is good! 

For posterity, her special prayer with her Daddy is here.

And her goodnight prayer afterward...

Yes, No or Wait

When Abby and I say our prayers at night, I say a set prayer over her and she says a less formal prayer to God each night. I will prompt her by asking about someone she knows that is sick or missed school that day or a friend she saw that she wants to thank God for. One night, out of the blue, she prayed for God to put a baby in my belly. We giggled about it and while she brought it up a few times after that, it always appeared to be a fun little poke to make me laugh. I even joked about it on Facebook saying, "uh-oh!". 

Today after church Abby's Sunday school teacher stopped me to let me know that while discussing prayer, Abby told her she keeps asking for God to put a baby in Momma's belly and he hasn't answered her, essentially saying no. Her teacher handled it well and I'm so proud of Abby for speaking something so sincere and serious with her teacher. But I also was surprised as I had no idea how much this was really on her heart.

This afternoon I laid down with her and asked her if she was sad she didn't have a brother or sister and she told me she was and prays everyday for God to put a baby in Momma's belly. Gulp. This is real to her. God isn't answering her. He didn't answer me one day long ago. I was an adult and it was confusing and sucked. 

Luckily, I know more know about God today and in talking to her teacher this morning was able to enforce to Abby exactly what she was told- God still hears you. God loves you. And sometimes, his answer is no. Abby put a big smile on her face telling me that is what Ms. Kristi said. It was suddenly true to her because she heard it from two different people she knows and trusts.

I explained to Abby that I had prayed for a baby for a long time and was so happy when God answered my prayer with her, but now my body is older and God would probably say no because I am so much older and it wouldn't be good for my body. 

Abby knows how special she is, that we wanted her for a long time and that we prayed for her and it took big miracles from God through special doctors to make her ours. She can tell you more about infertility than most kids. She knows she had a twin that was never born. I have never hidden my infertility from friends, family or Abby. So, we've told her a lot.

Marcus was the first to be content with only one child. It took me much longer and honestly I was okay with it until I started imagining my fall without Abby at home. I am ready for her to go to Kindergarten and I know she will be great at making friends and learning. I am sadder for me. Who will I eat lunch with? I don't really qualify for play dates anymore and most of my friends will still have kids at home. My job gives me flexibility to work from home, so entering an office environment isn't necessary. 

Having only one child makes kindergarten hard- you leave the only parenting world you have known to enter a world you don't know at all. At least with more than one child you can have the comfort of the world you know while learning a new world. It ALMOST makes me want another child. Almost.

 I am hopeful what Abby learned today isn't about having a baby brother or sister, but is more about God hearing her, loving her, and answering prayers with a yes, no, or wait. I have no doubt that He will tell her yes, no or wait many times in her life and that is the bigger lesson for us all. 

I have multiple friends struggling to get pregnant right now. My heart breaks for them as I can remember that pain of God saying wait and deep down wondering if wait meant no. If this is you, I'm praying for you and praying that whatever God's answer is, He will deliver it with the comfort and peace that only He can. 

Everyday

Here is a recap of our last week of summer- we start school tomorrow!

On Labor Day, we spent the day with friends and the kids loved the little pool in the backyard! Our two hours of swimming turned into an 8 hour day complete with a trip to the grocery store for dinner items. Those are the best playdates!

A big girl bed with a nice fluffy duvet and I find my child sleeping sideways covered in toys on a tiny travel pillow with a quilt her Nana made that she has almost outgrown. KIDS!

On Wednesday, we made cupcakes for our teachers and threw a birthday party for a stuffed animal. This little girl is all mine- free day and she elects to bake and throw a party. 

On Thursday, we started a community Bible study with our friends Carrie, Addison and McKenna. The girls study the Bible with scripture memorization, story time, crafts, and more downstairs and we learn the Bible upstairs through small groups, homework, and teaching time. It is going to be a great program and I am excited to get into the word more.

On Friday morning, we met our teacher and new school friends. Abby is so ready to go back. Just a couple of minutes with her new teacher and she told me, "she is a pro at school." She is a pro at rules and structure, so yes, a pro at school! None of our friends from last year are in our class which made us a little sad, but I feel certain she will make new friends quickly. 

New Church Update

So, we joined The Church at Canyon Creek at the beginning of this year and I have to say we really look forward to Sunday mornings! Going to church is something we really want to do and not something we do just to be obedient. Our Adult Bible Fellowship (ABF) class is so encouraging and we have the best conversations. Our teacher Keith is so patient with us all as we derail his lesson plan with conversation all the time! 

We have already made great friends- my biggest fear in leaving our old church. We are both in Life Groups, volunteer at the church, and have met so many great people. I am so thankful for our new church!

Carrie and I volunteered at an event hosted by Vicki Courtney (center) last week. It is called Virtue en Vogue and makes me excited for Abby's tween years. It was a modest back to school fashion show with a message from Vicki about seeking worth, value, and "likes" from God and not the people around you. What a great back to school message!

Marcus and I are not the only ones growing in our new church- this coming Sunday is promotion Sunday and Abby will move into the Pre-K class, called the ducks. A big part of our reason for looking at a new church was finding a place with kids' church. We didn't want Abby to join us in "grown up" church until she was older. Marcus wants her to know salvation before learning about hell.

As a Duck, Abby will be part of the kids that attend Kids' Praise. It is for Pre-K through 2nd grade and mimics adult church. They have worship music, offering, and a message. But, it is all tailored to their age group with a puppet show included! They learn how to act in church and get their own message for a few more years. She is pretty excited to be a duck!

Leaving a church home is scary and I know first hand how sad I was thinking about all my friends at church without me. But, I also know that if God has another plan for you, His plan is good and you can trust it. He showed me that in giving us The Church at Canyon Creek this year. 

Glorious Day

The past few weeks we have had the best discussions with Abby about Jesus. 

Between Easter lessons and AWANA, Abby is learning some powerful verses about Jesus, His sacrifice, love for us, and our sins. Abby is really starting to process and ask us great questions. It makes my heart so happy to see her recognize Jesus for what he did and to store Him in her heart.

She has learned a verse a week since September and can easily recall about 10 of them. Her new favorite- "Go into all the world and preach the gospel". We end it with a loud Hallelujah and a quiet Amen. It is one of the funniest things to hear- she says Hallelujah with such fervor. 

We had another big breakthrough this week- for the first time ever, Abby noticed the music on my ringtone and asked to hear it. Glorious Day has been my ringtone for over a year. I love the words to it and love that she "got" them. We have played it more than once daily since then and tonight she told me the chorus. 

For other parents out there, don't think the little things you are doing aren't catching on. I have waited for so long for Abby to hear my song and learn it is about Jesus. I know that we will have more conversations in the car now because of it and future songs we play. I pray I have answers for the questions that will come because when I don't know the answer, Abby always says, "Let's ask Siri". Awkward :)

Dot Mom Weekend

This past weekend I attended the Dot Mom  conference in Frisco with some of the girls from my new church. While it was fun to get to know all of them better, the real highlight of the weekend was the amazing information we all learned about being a Mother and a daughter of the King.

The whole event was such an encouragement. I loved this booth that was merely a chalkboard wall with a new question up each morning and afternoon. Such fun to read how similar your life is with others. There were about 20 booths with everything from Christian decor to parenting books to baby food.

On Friday night, I was first in line to have my copy of Sparkly Green Earrings signed by Big Mama. I have read her blog for years, read her book in just a few days and loved her! Carrie and I were a little starstruck! I also met Kelly Stamps from Kelly's Korner but caught her at a odd time and didn't get a photo. 

Let's talk about the main stage- there were 4 speakers and they were pretty stinkin' awesome! I have to tell you that Angie Smith spoke first and she spoke the loudest to me. A few major lessons I learned from her talk on the subtext of what we are telling our children:

- We tell them they are valuable, yet our actions can easily tell them they are in the way of our agenda. Ouch.

- They are not a prop in our online performance. The moment's value doesn't come from the approval of the imaginary audience (Facebook, blogs, Twitter, Instagram, etc.)

- Life is not a crisis and having big responses to little things will make their life much harder. Productivity is not the sign of a life well lived. Wearing busy like a badge of honor doesn't leave gaps for quiet time with God. 

- Making decisions out of fear will only teach your children that you don't trust God and that you are in control.

- Your children need to know that you don't know it all, you need God, and you are a sinner just like them.

Saturday morning Vicki Courtney spoke. Her husband and her lead our Sunday school class and we all knew she would do a great job. She sure did! She spoke on the topic of her new book due out in June.... the fairy tale let down. She had us laughing! She reminded us all that we are building a fairy tale about our prince charming, our perfect kids, and our dream home. In reality, the letdown from the lack of perfection can be tough. Our husband doesn't say, "You Complete Me", our kids don't take perfect portraits, and our house doesn't get repinned on Pinterest. But, we our God loves us, He forgives us, and we live in a real world. We bring baggage and junk into our marriage and that can take work to unpack. I can't wait to read her new book and do the Bible study.

The final speaker on Saturday was Priscilla Shirer. I have seen her name many places, but never heard her speak. I never imagined we'd meet her and snap a photo! She told the story of Jesus turning water into wine in a way I have never heard before.  Mary tells the servants, "whatever He says, just do it." If Mary were attending our Mom conference today, wouldn't she tell us the same thing? She affirmed for us that our best will never be good enough, but His best is enough.  She reminded us that God knows our junk, our issues, our shame, and we need to own it, just do it, and then when He performs a miracle in our life, we must share it. Just do what you can as a mother and he will do what you can't.

I also attended four different breakout sessions. I focused my time on Intentional Parenting, Emotional Development of Preschoolers, Raising Good Forgivers, and Teaching God's word to your children. All of them were helpful! I bought a couple of books based upon these sessions!

Another great joy of this conference was seeing two old friends of mine. Crista and I went to HS together and hadn't seen each other, except online, since. Crista has the most beautiful family- from birth and from love. She is good friends with Amanda Jones (Beth Moore's daughter) whom I met and loved. I told Amanda, "I read (present tense) your blog" and she replied with a smile, "you read (past tense) my blog". I wish she'd blog more- she was always so insightful!

Finally, I got to hug Katie. She is the amazing Will's Mom. I met her in 2007 when Will was first born. A group of friends and I ran a marathon relay to support her son and the hospital that cared so well for him. We haven't seen since, but we read each other's blogs. I loved seeing her, but more than that, I loved that she had a great weekend with a friend. She is one overworked Momma, but still such an encouragement.

Yea for an amazing, uplifting, reassuring, fun filled weekend!

New Church Home

Marcus and I left our church of 9 years in November. We didn’t make the decision lightly or on our own. We prayed about it, talked about it, and I even cried about it. Marcus and I truly became followers of Christ at Great Hills. We joined in 2003- faced 4 years of infertility and welcomed Abby as members of that church. Abby was dedicated and formed the sweetest little friendships there. We worked in the child care area, in VBS, and in our bible life class. Walking away from all of that will stand as one of the hardest decisions we have ever faced. I don’t feel it appropriate to hash out online why we wanted to leave- I don’t want to discourage anyone from leaving a church when it is where they feel God wants them to be. I knew that to grow spiritually and to fulfill our goals for our family, we needed something new. But, the girl in me who had made so many memories and so many friends was terrified of starting over.

Today, I cried while singing in church, just like I did the first Sunday we visited Great Hills in 2003. This time it was to 10,000 Reasons. Then, it was The Air I Breathe. Those songs and those moments will stick with me. The crying in church, as silly as it sounds, was the last little confirmation I needed that we had found our family’s next church.

Let me tell you- God knew what we needed and has given us such wonderful love in this process. We have only known one church. Leaving that isn’t easy, but He has reassured us in so many ways. It almost feels like buying a car or a house. You make a list of what you need in a church, what you want to have, and what you don’t want. This is likely the place where our daughter will grow up- it needs to be good!

After making our list through many conversations, we looked around at prospective churches in our area online. We had to have a strong children’s program that offered children’s church for a few years beyond kindergarten, active Bible life classes that met on Sunday morning, an outward focus, and we wanted it to be within 15 minutes of our home. Only a few fit our needs and we first visited The Church at Canyon Creek in early November. We had heard about it from a friend that attended and decided to start our search there.

We haven’t visited another church and I’m pretty sure we won’t for a long time. That first Sunday, I felt like I was cheating. I had told a few friends we were visiting. They were loving and kind, but I still felt funny being the visitor and not the greeter. I felt like I would get a “where were you on Sunday, I missed you” email and I wouldn’t know what to say! (I did get a phone call and it wasn’t as bad as I imagined!)

We have now been attending for 3 months and little signs have become affirmations for us…

•            The part of leaving Great Hills that was so hard for me was leaving all of my friends. Flash forward to the end of November (we have been visiting about 3 weeks) and in Cowboys Stadium with more than 50,000 people, we had tickets NEXT TO a family we know at Great Hills. God affirmed for me that in a sea of people, He can still cross my path with friends.
•           We were so frightened Abby would be sad or not like her new church, but we didn’t know the power of a cash register. Her new class has a cash register in it and that is all she talks about. Every Sunday morning she specifically asks me if we are going to the cash register church and is so excited when we say that we are. She is given take home lessons with stickers each week and can check out sweet Christian books. She loves books and stickers!
•           While we had been attending Great Hills “Sunday school” faithfully, we had not attended service for many months. We are engrossed with service now. The lessons have been so applicable that we are taking notes more than ever before. Time flies in there and church lets out a little earlier which is so helpful with a hungry toddler!
•           Using my spiritual gift of administration has always led me to be a social/fellowship coordinator in my bible life class. The first week we visited Canyon Creek, they announced the need for a social coordinator. Marcus and I laughed. Yea, so I volunteered this week to be the coordinator. Funny how God works!
•           Our new bible life group is filled with some amazing people! Our teacher is about 10 years older than us which is one of the things we first loved about Great Hills and lost in recent years. I like learning from someone who has been though the stage of life we are in. Learning from peers is just different- it wasn’t best for us. The couples in the class have embraced us as friends and we are so grateful. I am doing MOPS, ladies events, and play dates. Marcus is attending men’s weekly breakfast.
•           Our final affirmation… when Marcus and I were in Hawaii I read a book about sex trafficking and it touched me deeply. I told Marcus while sitting in the pool that I wanted to help, to do something. I knew we weren’t in a place to sponsor another child or donate large sums of money, but that if I could use my talents as a meeting planner, I would love the opportunity. In our bible life group is Christian-author and speaker Vicki Courtney. I have read her books and have so much respect for her message. She recently brought up a partnership with Compassion International for vulnerable children, many of whom will likely face sex trafficking in their childhood. There was my opportunity to try and serve in an area my heart was passionate about. I have talked to Vicki and we are both praying about ways I can help her in this cause.

I am grateful God has provided for us in this transition. I am grateful for our new church home where we can learn, grow and serve. I am so grateful for the deep friendships I have from Great Hills and will be making at Canyon Creek. I am forever grateful to Great Hills for growing us to this point.

Marcus and I have never left a church to join another one and we have tried so hard to be patient in the process. To stop and listen. To speak and plug in. To be respectful and to be open. I feel like we have a new spiritual home after 3 months of visiting and it feels good.

VBS 2012

Working full time I always wished I could be involved in VBS at my church. This year I was able to jump in and help out and while I was tired and got sick from all the kids, I am so glad I did it!

Because I was a worker, Abby was able to go. VBS technically starts at age 4, but her little class was all her friends (since their Moms are our friends and they were working, too!) and they did crafts, went to worship, and played outside. She had the most fun!

I volunteered in the grade school crafts room. My role was to design, purchase and prep all of the crafts for the kids in 1st to 6th grade. In that range, there were almost 300 kids! We had two big craft rooms like this!

These were my inexpensive centerpieces :) Every table had one of these all hot glued together! The q-tips were to help kids spread glue. 

Thursday night of VBS week they had family fun night with inflatables outside! After Abby Lu joined the kids to sing on stage (bold move!) she enjoyed cotton candy, face painting and jumping!

That girl loves the big slides!

That night our buddy Michael's big sister accepted Jesus into her heart so we took Michael to play with us. Sweet kiddos! I hope they fall in love with Jesus and accept Him into their hearts, too!

Marcus flew back from his business trip to Chicago in time to juggle. Abby wanted him all to herself after missing him for 4 days! She pushed the other kids away- that is my Daddy!

What a fun week at VBS!

How Great Thou Art

This weekend is about so much more than chocolate, plastic eggs and bunnies. I hope it is for you, too. This is the time we celebrate the risen King!

Carrie Underwood and Vince Gill (two of my favorites!) sang an old hymn this weekend. You can view it online here- it is beautiful and so wonderful to see someone in a public role open up the world to their faith. Thank you, Carrie!

My very favorite old hymn sang on TV- Faith Hill singing I Surrender All on Oprah. Amazing!

Happy Easter!

My 2011 Resolutions

I am excited to tell you that my 2010 New Year's Resolution was kept! I wanted us to make praying before a meal a regular occurrence and it happened. Most often our prayer is led by a little blond with pigtails before we even sit down to eat! Amazing what a child can do! She folds her hands and says, "thank you Jesus for my food, Amen" every time we eat! She also will repeat, "for my food, Amen" when ever I say thank you Jesus even if we are not eating. I love her discipline.

I have set 2 goals for 2011- one requires discipline and one is purely vain.

I am joining Beth Moore's Siesta Scripture Memorization Team in 2011 with my friend Heidi. I even bought us these cute little spirals. Heidi is a pro and my accountability partner! We will memorize 24 verses by the end of the year and keep them all logged into our cute little index card spiral. I am honestly scared to death as I haven't had to memorize anything in a long time, but I know the Lord will be with me on this one!

If you want to join in, the "rules" are all right here. Let me know if you are playing along and we can all lift each other up.

Resolution #2- to wear more lipstick! Look at this picture, my lips are the color of my skin. Seriously, I don't wear it much because I kiss on Abby all day long, feel stupid reapplying in public and can't find just one color I love.

I reject so many candid shots of myself because of my stupid lips. I plan to fix that this year!

Good luck planning, making and keeping changes in the coming year!

Aha Moment Video

A few weeks ago Marcus and I recorded our Aha Moment for Mutual of Omaha's campaign. We met downtown and recorded our message inside a small trailer on 6th street. We thought about how we wanted to share a message of hope for other couples struggling with infertility. We were "interviewed" by the nicest Mutual of Omaha worker who asked us some really thought provoking questions. She did a great job and after editing, our message was created. Our story has a bigger message about faith and trusting things unseen and at times unfelt. I don't know that that faith-based message really conveyed after all of the edits were placed, but I pray it gives hope to others. We were asked to bring a prop and brought this photo of the blessing we fought to receive.
Before you watch the video, let me just say that I look awful. It is very humbling to share it here and if it were to be chosen as a national commercial, I might just die. The overly awful smile at the beginning was a joke- they asked us to smile really big and I think I overdid it.

Enjoy the video here and remember, I look much better in real life! Of all days to forget to wear blush!